Day 20 – Brokenness with boundaries.

So as a part of my 21 DSD I have also been apart of the Made to Crave 21 day challenge. Perfect right?! I have been getting daily e-mails that revolve around our desires with food and how those should be focused on God instead. I have read the book already and it has basically changed my life.  but receiving these e-mails while going through this detox has been perfect, even though all the stories are basically from the book.

For example, even though I read today’s story already in the book it spoke volumes more to me today. She talks about her dog and how he needed to be fenced in to keep himself away from the car tires he enjoys chasing and had just been recently run over by one. I love how she put it “My brokenness couldn’t handle freedom with food outside the boundaries of my plan. Not yet.”

Wow! Just wow!  I have been struggling with whether or not to actually come off of this “detox”. Thinking that it would be a good idea to introduce some more fruits in.  But another part of me is actually afraid.  I’m afraid of what will happen when I start getting that sweet tooth again.  Will I start to crave the cookies and the chocolate that got me into this mess in the first place?  Because if I’m honest other than a few cravings here or there this has been the easiest removal of sugar I have ever done.  In fact it’s been the only removal of sugar that’s ever been successful.  I’ve done 4 other whole 30’s and never made it past the second week.  But this?  This was easy.

Was it because of the way Diane laid everything out?  I think so yes.  The introduction of a green apple or green banana has been a saving grace, as has kombucha.  All of those things have allowed me to have something just slightly sweet when al

l the savory stuff was getting too much. But the key was not having TOO much fruit and thus those craving would continue like they had during whole 30’s.  So I’m back to my question.  Should I continue?

I think I answered my own question.  Yes I think I will. Because my brokenness, my addiction, my eating disorders can’t handle the freedom outside of the boundaries of the 21 DSD.  Not yet,  I need to recognize that these boundaries are a gift from God to keep me safe.

Day 12 – A half way point treat day

I had 5 treats today

1. I got to sleep in!  Since I had to go to the Chiropractors this afternoon but had to leave before my daughter went down for a nap, my husband got up with her and took her to the park.  So I even got to get ready in an empty house!  That’s like treat 1.5
2. Shopping alone.  After getting cracked back into place, I headed over to Whole Foods to get some shopping done. When I have to go with the wee one she is constantly trying to grab the things I’ve put into the cart.  And constantly saying “please, please, please” to all the fruit she sees.  So yes, shopping alone is a treat.  I also love Whole Foods because they have Kombucha on tap. Mmmmm
3. Chipotle!!  I took my Kombucha and headed over to Chipotle. I could seriously eat there every day of my life if I could afford it. I usually get a salad, no dressing, rice, chicken, mild salsa, cheese, sour cream, guac and top it all with some more lettuce. I wouldn’t normally eat dairy, but I always make the exception for Chipotle and have never gotten sick.  I always say it’s nothing other than a blessing by God, Chipotle without sour cream would be criminal.
4. Movie time! Since I had gotten everything done so early and I still had loads of time I went to go see a movie!  I had originally wanted to see Les Mis, but the time tables didn’t work out in my favor so instead I went to go see Silver Linings.  It was just alright.  I mean it was interesting and definitely entertaining, but I would have rather spent $1 at Redbox renting it that $9.50 to see in in the theater.
5. Playdate. For some people this may not have been a treat but for me it is.  I got to watch my friends little girl tonight.  She is the same age as my daughter so they always have so much fun together.  It’s a treat for me because it means I don’t actually have to do that much work.  You would think having 2 instead of 1 means MORE work, but when they just entertain themselves it means I have time to get stuff done without a toddler hanging off my leg begging for my attention.  I also just love watching her interact with her friends. It’s just so cute watching her grow up like that. As a result of the playdate I just had a quick dinner while hubby gave the girls a bath.  Some homemade chicken soup with a chicken mayonnaise salad.  (My homemade mayo rocks!)

Day 5 & 6

On Day 5 (Saturday) it was my hubby’s birthday!  I managed to actually think up a few presents to get him this year, usually it’s hard enough to think of things to get him for Christmas let alone turn around a week later and get something more!  I had also decided to take him out on a proper date so I got us a groupon deal (cheeap! woo!) to some greek restaurant and then got us tickets to go see the Hobbit!

The restaurant was fantastic!  We started off some some grape leaves stuffed with lamb meat, moved on to a deliciously simple greek salad, we also managed to splurge on some crazy awesome humus (we scooped it up with cucumbers, yum!) You can imagine by the time our main course came we were nearly done.  So we ate a little and packed up the rest to have as a midnight snack when we got home.  Hubby got some sort of eggplant meal, and I got this wonderful pepper stuffed with sirloin and lamb meat, vegetables and some rice.  Yes the rice was a bit more than I would normally eat, but it was also a special occasion so I wasn’t bothered.

On day 6 (Sunday) I had so much grocery shopping to get done but woke up with seriously no energy at all.  I suppose staying up until 1am and eating a bit more than normal will still take a toll on you.  But of course I thought to myself

well I’m going to feel this anyways I should have just had cake and alcohol. *sigh*  I know it does no good to think that way so I had to remind myself why I’m doing this.  Not just to feel better, or to lose weight, but to realize I need to rely on God an not on food.

I got some lunch while at Whole Foods.  Their food bar is seriously one of my favorite places to eat because they have the ingredients list on EVERYTHING!  Which means no second guessing, and no looking the other way and pretending I don’t taste all that sugar in whatever I’m eating.

They didn’t have too much I wanted or could have that day so I just went with a salad filled to the max.  Lettuce, eggs, radish, carrots, turkey, green onions, feta cheese and then topped it all off with a balsamic vinegar/olive oil mix.  That together with my kombucha on tap (seriously why can’t everywhere in the world have kombucha on tap) made for a great lunch.

For dinner that night I just roasted a chicken with some veg and had that to round off the weekend.  I intend to use the chicken and broth to make some soup and a chicken salad for the week to come.

Day 2 – Modified Level 1

I seem to have NO energy today.  Seriously I haven’t left the house all day.  Thankfully my daughter seems to be entertaining herself today. But that could also be because I let her watch an extra Elmo episode this morning.  Oops? hahaha. I wasn’t hungry again when I woke up so all I had was some water and then I had my lunch after my daughter went down around 1:30.  For lunch I had some left over Thai food from the weekend.  It was part brocoli chicken, part pineapple curry (I picked out the pineapple).  On the side are my daily supplements and a glass of homemade kombucha

I am personally doing the modified version of the 21 DSD that is a mix between the athletes and the pregnant ladies. I am allowed 1/2 cup rice OR 1/2 cup sweet potato OR 1 cup butternut squash once per day if I feel I need it. I have read people who have hard core sugar addictions, and those that have trouble finishing detoxes such as this one, have done amazingly well adding some extra carbs into their detox.

Since this is my first 21 DSD and I have failed 4 previous whole 30’s.  I was a bit nervous to even start.  But after much praying God helped me to see that following the above modifications don’t make me a failure.  If I could I would eat the Milk and Legumes as a part of level one to help curb some of the sugar detox pain. But as I’ve learned after a year eating Paleo, milk makes my IBD flare up like crazy, and rice is more benign than legumes so I’m actually safer eating it.  (I also know for my body personally it doesn’t make my bloated like it does or may do for others).

So this is like my own personal Level 1.  I hope for the next detox down the road that I can move onto “Level 2- no rice” and then your average 21 DSD Level 3.

The Good: I did my work out today!  This one took me nearly 45 min, but I hardly felt it was that long at all. I also cooked up an amazing tasting pumpkin/chocolate chili that I was experimenting with.  I’ll post the recipe soon!

The Bad: I may have had more like 12 oz of Kombucha today, so I’ll need to keep an eye on that.

The Ugly: I didn’t see the sun other than threw a window the whole day.  Very, very bad.  I need to make sure I’m getting some natural vitamin D