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My new normal

Ok so my back has been KILLING me over the last few weeks.  I’m pretty sure it all started when I went to some retreat with the women from my church.  It was a great experience and all but I realized then that my back is just not cut out for bad bunk beds, hikes, and sitting indian style.  From that weekend onwards there’s always been a bit of pain that I couldn’t seem to shift.  And then WHAM!  One day after seeing my chiropractor it all just gave out and I had to drive my car the 15 min it takes to get home in extreme pain and agony.  Like deep moaning during labor pain.

Well today while I was still in pain and basically can do nothing but lay in bed I realized that actually I’m doing SO MUCH MORE than just laying in bed.  I’m laying there having a complete pity party on myself when my husband stops me and says “What do you call all that downstairs cooking? Because I don’t call that nothing”  And then I realized in spite of all my pain I still managed to cook a beef heart stew, make chicken broth and render down the fat from the heart to get some tallow.  Not to mention I still took the time to soak oatmeal for tomorrow and make more homemade coconut milk kefir…WHAT?!

When did this happen that whipping up a stew with organ meat is so normal to me now that whilst doing it I felt like I was doing nothing!  I mean even just a year ago I swear putting in a Stouffer’s lasagna in the oven was hard work.  Wow I really need to get off my own back and realize the progress I’ve made over the last few years.  So what that the house is a mess?  So what if my daughter is maybe watching one too many Elmo’s since I can’t play with her.  I’m in a season in my life right now where I just have to survive.  And again if I’m surviving off home made organ meats, broth and tallow then I think life is going to be alright.

Valentines Day Date

Romantic-Dinner-on-Valentines-DaySo today I went out on a date tonight with hubby.  It was something we both really needed so I was so glad to be doing it.  A local church was having a drop off where for only $2! we could drop off our kids from 5:30-8:30.  3 hours for only $2!  We ended up just giving them a $5 bill and told them to keep it.  Probably should have given them more though they’re so amazing.

Hubby and I went to Dave and Busters for dinner and then spent about an hour playing on all the arcade games there.  Ever been to D&B’s?  It’s like chuck e cheese for grown ups.  Seriously so much fun.

For dinner I had a surprisingly healthy entree.  Salmon, spinach and rice.  Can’t get much better than that?  Sometimes it pains me to eat out though because I know the Salmon has been farmed, the spinach is loaded with pesticide and everything has been cooked in some sort of vegetable oil.  But I realize it’s a special occasion and to do the best I can.  I definitely had something that is a BIG 21 Day Sugar Detox.  Sangria! hahaha.  What can I say?  It was our valentines day date. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

Sugar Detox round 2!


Yesterday was crazy.  I spent most of the day trying to perfect my daughters cupcakes for her birthday but forgot to eat anything during the process!  Since her birthday will fall right in the middle of the next 21 Day Sugar Detox I knew I had to get all the test baking in on Sunday.  But I think I had one too many taste tests because I turned into a complete disaster.

I had no patience with anything or anyone.  My daughters cries were going right through me and I said to my husband all I wanted to do was punch her. I mean really?!  But yes I did! That’s how insane I was.  I then stormed out of the house because I was fighting with my husband and honestly nervous over what I would throw at him.

Here’s the good part though, in the past when these kind of things would happen the first place I would go is through the taco bell drive through.  I’m not joking when I say I would get the 10 taco meal deal, but just for me.  It was like I would want to punish myself for being so crazy and make myself so full until I was sick.

sugar-addiction

Well I did go through the drive thru again, but I didn’t stop I just kept driving.  I was even adamantly trying to shut God out and NOT listen to him because I just wanted the sweet relief of a crunchy taco in my mouth.  God is so amazing though and knew the true desires of my heart and seriously I felt him push my foot down and steer the wheel the opposite direction.  It was an amazing feeling overcoming something that had been such a huge part of my life for the past year.

To try and break the habit I went over to Starbucks and got a peppermint tea.  I sipped on that and read my book while I tried to relax before going home.

Then that night I felt like I had the flu!  I could barely move I was in so much pain, I was just so achey. I took my temperature I thought I had for sure caught something. But nope I was fine, and it was then I realized I was having the opposite effect of carb flu.  I had in fact had TOO MUCH sugar and was getting sick because of it!  Crazy to think I of all people could have too much sugar.  Even it was all in the form of dark chocolate, maple syrup and honey.

I woke up this morning with a crazy headache and just resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to get over this sugar hangover for the rest of the day.  Thankfully I started to feel better later on.  And the one good thing about all this was when I went out to dinner tonight with some of my girl friends I didn’t even think twice about dipping into their fondue deserts.  There was no way I wanted to feel that way again.

Birthday party problems

So I went to a birthday party this morning for one of my daughter’s friends.  It was at an indoor climbing play space and it was actually kid of fun.  The problem came when it was time for lunch and my friend (the host) just bought a bunch of pizza, fries, chicken fingers and corn dogs for everyone to go along with their cupcakes.  Naturally.

I would have to say all in all it went ok.  I managed to think ahead and pack some leftover from dinner for myself, and some oatmeal and an apple for my daughter.  (We soak our oatmeal, incase anyone is screaming “But the phytic acid!”) Turns out we were both pretty satisfied with our choices.  A few of my friends made joke that my little girl desperately wanted a piece of pizza as she kept reaching for what they had.  I simply said anything you have in your hand she wants.  Even if it was brussel sprouts because that’s what she’s like, she just wants what every anyone else has.
I did go ahead and give her some of the fries though.  Of all the things that were there, they were the one thing she could reasonably have and it was nice to not be the freaks eating out of tupperware and have some of what my friends were offering. So yes truth time, I had some fries as well.  I managed to stay completely away from the cupcakes though.  I mean I knew I couldn’t have the gluten in them but even part of me was starting to justify just having the icing!!!  Oi Vey!  Thankfully God put my thoughts right.  As a result I maybe ate one too many fries.

Would I have liked to not have eaten any?  Yes of course!  And I feel like one day I will get there.  But I have to remember progress is progress, and less than a year ago, even while living “paleo”, I did indulge in a cupcake (ok two actually, and a few cookies).  So wow I have come a long way.

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And because of all of that tonight I am making pumpkin muffins and sneaking a few chocolate chips in.  When does the next 21 DSD start? hahaha

Day 12 – A half way point treat day

I had 5 treats today

  1. I got to sleep in!  Since I had to go to the Chiropractors this afternoon but had to leave before my daughter went down for a nap, my husband got up with her and took her to the park.  So I even got to get ready in an empty house!  That’s like treat 1.5
  2. Shopping alone.  After getting cracked back into place, I headed over to Whole Foods to get some shopping done. When I have to go with the wee one she is constantly trying to grab the things I’ve put into the cart.  And constantly saying “please, please, please” to all the fruit she sees.  So yes, shopping alone is a treat.  I also love Whole Foods because they have Kombucha on tap. MmmmmUploaded from the Photobucket Android App
  3. Chipotle!!  I took my Kombucha and headed over to Chipotle. I could seriously eat there every day of my life if I could afford it. I usually get a salad, no dressing, rice, chicken, mild salsa, cheese, sour cream, guac and top it all with some more lettuce. I wouldn’t normally eat dairy, but I always make the exception for Chipotle and have never gotten sick.  I always say it’s nothing other than a blessing by God, Chipotle without sour cream would be criminal.
  4. Movie time! Since I had gotten everything done so early and I still had loads of time I went to go see a movie!  I had originally wanted to see Les Mis, but the time tables didn’t work out in my favor so instead I went to go see Silver Linings.  It was just alright.  I mean it was interesting and definitely entertaining, but I would have rather spent $1 at Redbox renting it that $9.50 to see in in the theater.
  5. Playdate. For some people this may not have been a treat but for me it is.  I got to watch my friends little girl tonight.  She is the same age as my daughter so they always have so much fun together.  It’s a treat for me because it means I don’t actually have to do that much work.  You would think having 2 instead of 1 means MORE work, but when they just entertain themselves it means I have time to get stuff done without a toddler hanging off my leg begging for my attention.  I also just love watching her interact with her friends. It’s just so cute watching her grow up like that. As a result of the playdate I just had a quick dinner while hubby gave the girls a bath.  Some homemade chicken soup with a chicken mayonnaise salad.  (My homemade mayo rocks!)

Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App

Day 9 – Salmon and water kefir

salmon photo salmon_zps5d365d6a.jpg

So I’m definitely certain that both my daughter and I are not used to getting up before 9 since just before Christmas.  I know this because the poor girl was conked out the minute we got in the car after BSF.

BSF stands for Bible Study Fellowship and it’s something I’ve been going to for a few months now.  It has it’s negatives don’t get me wrong, but I’m learning so much about the bible that I wouldn’t really be able to other wise and the child care is so amazing that it’s what keeps me going back. When I think about things like if I should put my daughter into a preschool or not (seems like ALL her friends have started going) I remember how great BSF is for and how  basically it’s an awesome Christian based preschool, for free!

So yea we need to be there no later than 9:30 so I wasn’t sure how we would do.  I was shocked when I heard her talking in her crib at 8:30 maybe she would have gone back down for a smaller nap if I had left her (I could barely hear her) but decided to just get her up and get a move on it.  And we were actually on time for a change!

Not only did the poor thing crash in the car on the way home but I felt I needed to do the same thing. So I went ahead and laid down thinking she’ll be up in a few hours and I’ll just let her wake me up.  When I finally did wake up (on my own even, she was still asleep) it was 3:20.  Holy guacamole!  We both definitely needed a nap.

The Good: I made salmon tonight for dinner.  But like, I don’t cook fish.  It’s like I’m perpetually horrible at always cooking fish so when it came out delicious I was super excited.  AND I tried my first batch of water kefir tonight!  It’s taken me about a week with my milk kefir grains to convert them but I’ve seem to have done it successfully.  I don’t know though, it wasn’t as fizzy as I’d hoped and really it tasted the same as kombucha so what’s the point of doing both?  We’ll see

With the salmon and water kefir, I had brocoli and a salad with olive oil and lemon juice drizzled on top.  And you know what, I was stuffed.  Like super, almost couldn’t finish, stuffed.  Which I was honestly shocked about because there was no starch to the meal.

The Bad: Though we had a great morning, it seems the nap really through me off and I had no energy the rest of the day, no energy means my little girl gets to watch one too many Elmo’s.  I should have just gotten up and taken her to the park, but we were both just like slugs hanging around the house.

The not so Bad: I didn’t do any exercises today.  I think it’s not all that bad though because I did a lot yesterday so I’m going to call this my rest day.  Now if I do this again this week that would be ugly because I’m only meant to have 1 rest day.

Day 8 – Great start to the week!

The Good:  Late tonight I really wanted something sweet, even tempted to have one of my daughters more ripe bananas.  But I just made some tea and kept out of the fridge for the rest of night. woot!

The Great: This afternoon I took my daughter to the park all decked out in my workout clothes.  Usually we go to a small enough park that no ones there and I have done a few of my detox exercises there.  Well this afternoon it was pretty full but I just humbled myself and did them anyways.  And the crazy thing is the amount of energy I had.  I’m usually the mom that sits on the bench listening to her podcast (usually Balanced Bites or The Paleo View!) hoping my daughter is ok, not because I’m worried about her, but because I don’t want to get up.  But this afternoon inbetween my wall pushups and my step ups I was running around with her, even picking her up and holding her during one of my step up rounds.  I feel like I may be coming out on the other end of this detox finally.

The Awesome: I know this detox isn’t about weight loss for everyone, but for me it is.  Getting rid of sugar is slowly fixing my insulin resistance and one way I know that’s work is by losing weight.  Well all that said this morning I weighed in at 229lbs!!!!  That’s 6lbs gone! but wow I haven’t been in the 220’s since I was first pregnant with my daughter who turns 2 next month.  Only 5 more lbs until I’m at my pre-pregnancy weight and officially 50lbs down.  I’m trying hard not to get my hopes up for that to happen next week, so my goal is I just want to be at least that by the end of this detox.