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My new normal

Ok so my back has been KILLING me over the last few weeks.  I’m pretty sure it all started when I went to some retreat with the women from my church.  It was a great experience and all but I realized then that my back is just not cut out for bad bunk beds, hikes, and sitting indian style.  From that weekend onwards there’s always been a bit of pain that I couldn’t seem to shift.  And then WHAM!  One day after seeing my chiropractor it all just gave out and I had to drive my car the 15 min it takes to get home in extreme pain and agony.  Like deep moaning during labor pain.

Well today while I was still in pain and basically can do nothing but lay in bed I realized that actually I’m doing SO MUCH MORE than just laying in bed.  I’m laying there having a complete pity party on myself when my husband stops me and says “What do you call all that downstairs cooking? Because I don’t call that nothing”  And then I realized in spite of all my pain I still managed to cook a beef heart stew, make chicken broth and render down the fat from the heart to get some tallow.  Not to mention I still took the time to soak oatmeal for tomorrow and make more homemade coconut milk kefir…WHAT?!

When did this happen that whipping up a stew with organ meat is so normal to me now that whilst doing it I felt like I was doing nothing!  I mean even just a year ago I swear putting in a Stouffer’s lasagna in the oven was hard work.  Wow I really need to get off my own back and realize the progress I’ve made over the last few years.  So what that the house is a mess?  So what if my daughter is maybe watching one too many Elmo’s since I can’t play with her.  I’m in a season in my life right now where I just have to survive.  And again if I’m surviving off home made organ meats, broth and tallow then I think life is going to be alright.

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Day 2 – Modified Level 1

I seem to have NO energy today.  Seriously I haven’t left the house all day.  Thankfully my daughter seems to be entertaining herself today. But that could also be because I let her watch an extra Elmo episode this morning.  Oops? hahaha. I wasn’t hungry again when I woke up so all I had was some water and then I had my lunch after my daughter went down around 1:30.  For lunch I had some left over Thai food from the weekend.  It was part brocoli chicken, part pineapple curry (I picked out the pineapple).  On the side are my daily supplements and a glass of homemade kombucha

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I am personally doing the modified version of the 21 DSD that is a mix between the athletes and the pregnant ladies. I am allowed 1/2 cup rice OR 1/2 cup sweet potato OR 1 cup butternut squash once per day if I feel I need it. I have read people who have hard core sugar addictions, and those that have trouble finishing detoxes such as this one, have done amazingly well adding some extra carbs into their detox.

Since this is my first 21 DSD and I have failed 4 previous whole 30’s.  I was a bit nervous to even start.  But after much praying God helped me to see that following the above modifications don’t make me a failure.  If I could I would eat the Milk and Legumes as a part of level one to help curb some of the sugar detox pain. But as I’ve learned after a year eating Paleo, milk makes my IBD flare up like crazy, and rice is more benign than legumes so I’m actually safer eating it.  (I also know for my body personally it doesn’t make my bloated like it does or may do for others).

So this is like my own personal Level 1.  I hope for the next detox down the road that I can move onto “Level 2- no rice” and then your average 21 DSD Level 3.

The Good: I did my work out today!  This one took me nearly 45 min, but I hardly felt it was that long at all. I also cooked up an amazing tasting pumpkin/chocolate chili that I was experimenting with.  I’ll post the recipe soon!

The Bad: I may have had more like 12 oz of Kombucha today, so I’ll need to keep an eye on that.

The Ugly: I didn’t see the sun other than threw a window the whole day.  Very, very bad.  I need to make sure I’m getting some natural vitamin D

Christmas left overs

ferrero_rocher

Started my period today.  While shopping around at Whole Foods non the less, always fun.  Ugh sometimes I get so annoyed with being a woman and having to deal with this every month.  Of course for me sometimes it’s every other month so I suppose I should be rather excited that my body seems to be putting itself on course.

Of course this does explain the face first binge into some Ferrero Rocher (left over from Christmas gifts naturally).  Seriously worst thing to have.  Afterwards I read the ingredients list and there was soy, milk but even worst of all wheat. Thankfully I didn’t have any IBD attacks.  And I am glad to say that after 4 I realized I was being stupid and just threw the rest out.  So, phew, crisis averted.

Let’s just say I am looking forward to (or actually maybe I’m not) the 21 day sugar detox.

Maple/Cinnamon Frosting

Last night I made the most amazing pumpkin muffins.  These muffins were reminiscent of my pre paleo days when my sister and I would make pumpkin muffins from a tin of pumpkin and a box of betty crocker.  We would then slab on loads of cool whip (fat free, naturally) And indulge all night long.

These bad boys, I would hastened to say, are even better!  Especially with the Maple/Cinnamon frosting I added.

The muffins themselves come from The Primal Palate. So pop on over there to check out how to make them.  Check out the ingredient list though!

  • 1/2 cup coconut flour, sifted
  • 6 omega 3 eggs
  • 1/4 cup coconut oil
  • 1/2 cup yacon syrup, or maple syrup
  • 1/2 cup pure pumpkin puree
  • 1/2 tsp sea salt or kosher salt
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 tablespoon pumpkin spice blend

Super simple, super easy, and I seriously just threw everything in the food processor and voila!  Yumminess!

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As for the icing I tried looking for a few different recipes online but nothing really took my fancy so I thought I would experiment and I think I came up with an AMAZING tasting frosting. This frosting made enough to put on the 7 muffins that came out of the above recipe (I know 7, weird right?  I think had I not filled them so high I could have had 9.  As it was they fluffed up so much I had to cut them in half!)

Maple/Cinnamon Frosting

Ingredients

Instructions

  • Place all ingredients in food processor**
  • Whip until all ingredients are well blended

*I can’t stress enough how amazing Palm Shortening is.  I get mine from Tropical Traditions and this stuff is worth it’s weight in gold when it comes to paleo baked goods.  In fact! I’ve been so afraid to use my gallon bucket, this is actually the first time I did! Crazy balls I know! But after seeing what an amazing texture it is I’m super excited to try out a load of new recipes.  My favorite thing about it?  I doesn’t taste like coconuts!  I’m sorry I like coconut oil/cream/milk/etc as much as the next guy.  But if I have to have one more baked good that tastes like coconut I may just scream.  Just a little

**I’m thinking that all the ingredients may fluff up better with a hand mixer.  I don’t have one sadly enough.  After ours broke and we had an immersion blender and a food processor I thought it a bit much to get another mixer.  Alas I think it’s time to get another.  The immersion blender just made it all a big mess.  And where as the food processor worked just fine, for some things you just need that extra fluff and I am not an old school, put some elbow grease behind it, kinda mixer.

God’s power vs willpower

I don’t know what is wrong with me but I am spiraling out of control.

will-power

Burgers and fries on Thursday, egg rolls and teriyaki wings on Friday, candy canes, sugar cover almonds, slices of cheese, sugar laden lemonades, nuts covered in rancid oils. Ugh.  It’s like I’ve lost the plot. And I can tell it’s effected me so much more than just my IBS.  I am moody, and anxious.  I want to cry at any given moment, I’m back to fighting with my husband constantly.  I’m yelling at my daughter.  I just have no patience.  And yet I continue to eat.

I know what I need to do, I need to turn to Christ. I need his grace and his love to get me back on track.  I need to remember everything IS permissible.  It just may not be beneficial. My chiropractor, God bless him, I think has been partly the cause of some of this.  His words to me of stopping all sugars, even fruit.  Of just being better and not eating out AT ALL has caused me to resort to my old ways of rebellion.

Before that I had gotten into a good rhythm with God.  I knew I could have taco bell and chocolate cake whenever I wanted. That wasn’t the problem.  The problem was I wanted it more than I wanted my relationship with God and so I knew who I needed to turn to.  My chiro has be thinking I need to turn inward and into myself again and just have the willpower to stop.  Well I will tell you this, there is no such things as will power. Only God’s power and I need to be in search of that again.

Grace by eggs

funny-egg-cartoon1I am finally feeling so much better! I’m a bit torn though, and I’m not sure it’s healthy.  See a part of me was enamored with the amount of weight I lost while I was sick.  I am now down to 231.  That’s practically 9lbs in 6 days!  I could do with some more of that and I got there by not eating anything but broth and rice.

Ok so I know I can’t keep up eating just broth and rice, but I was thinking I would still try not to eat much else and try to keep this weight off.  But this morning I skipped part of my bible study (a whole other issue) and went to get some breakfast.  Now this is where on the one hand I should be happy, and on the other I’m upset that I even ate out in the first place.

Here’s an inside look how my brain works…I walked into this amazing bakery/grill place because it seemed super quaint. All I wanted was one of their crepes, or perhaps just muffin, maybe a simple pancake?  Ok so I know I can’t eat the gluten stuff, that would just be stupid.  But perhaps I could have some eggs with the onion hashbrowns they have.  Hashbrowns, now those aren’t too bad.  I’ve had potatotes in the past. People debate them all the time.  But I also know they’re most likely cooked with some sort of vegetable oil, not to mention they’re a potato!  And me and potatoes don’t really mix.  *sigh*  So if I’m going to eat something I shouldn’t have and could potentially get me sick, then I should just get that muffin right?  I’ll get the English muffin with the eggs and bacon and it’ll be remotely healthy.  No No No, just get some eggs, bacon and splurge on the fruit….  Only problem was they didn’t even have a meal put together this way!

In the end I sucked it up, went up to the counter and just asked them questions.  Can I get this with this? Is it ok to substitute? Also I finally asked them how they cooked their eggs.  The nice part was the kitchen and the cook were right there so I just talked it out with her.  I asked her what she used to cook the eggs with, she said butter and oil.  I said I was allergic to both.  She said they needed some sort of grease to cook the egg with though.  So I said well I’m having bacon could you just cook it in that?  She looked at me like I was a genius. hahaha “Yes! Yes! Of course we can do that!  That will be very good!”

So I got two eggs over easy, bacon and fruit.  What was fantastic was when the plate came, the “fruit” was merely a couple pieces of pineapple and orange. In the end I felt God kept his hand over the whole situation.  He protected my thoughts, my cravings and my surroundings. I didn’t deserve that from him, I deserved making the wrong choice and getting sick again.  But I also didn’t invent grace, he did.  And I am grateful everyday for it.

Our first paleo thanksgiving dinner

I just had the most amazing Thanksgiving dinner.  I can’t believe I actually managed to keep myself entirely Paleo the whole time. Nope, not even once did stuffing or biscuits touch these lips!  God is just so good!  I’m so excited that he gave me so much strength and willpower on a day I wasn’t sure I would be able to handle it.  We even managed to convince my dad, who has prepared the turkey the same way for over 20 years, NOT to stuff it with regular stove top stuffing this year and just to stuff it with veg so that there would be no cross contamination.  Let me tell you, it’s only by the grace of God that man could change his mind, lol.

I did winThanksgivingd up doing a lot of cooking.  I suppose I had to if I wanted to eat the way I wanted to.  But it was nice because other than my husband and daughter who naturally eat the same way.  My mother and sister both are trying to eat better so it felt good to be cooking for them as well.

And though I didn’t particularly like everything I cooked, it all seemed to get a good reception.  The bacon and sweet potato biscuits seemed to be a huge hit with the kids, and the garlic mashed cauliflower was a success.  My mom really enjoyed those.  I did end up having some regular mashed potatoes as well but we convinced my brother to make some without the milk and butter only so that we could enjoy them.  (My sister with her MS need to stay away from milk as well)

We made so much food though it lasted nearly 5 days later.  The thing is, in the past all that food would have just gotten eaten up by at least the next morning.  We’re a big family, and I don’t mean in numbers.  So what was amazing was seeing the way God was shaping and changing all of us.  (Well really only some of us, my brother is dangerously huge now)  We just didn’t need to eat the amount of food we had in the past. I can’t wait to see what next year brings, and just how much healthier we each can be.  I know for me personally it’s a goal to be 100lbs lighter and hopefully pregnant by this time next year.  But it’s all in God’s timing and I’m happy to go along for the ride.