Tag Archive | daughter

So far so good.

So the steroids seem to be working but the best part is that I haven’t had to take any of the antacid meds that my doctor gave me as well.  So far my daily routine is to drink a glass of cranberry/pomegranate juice mixed with some RepairVite and a tbsp of apple cider vinegar.  I drink that along with my bone broth and eat some sort of protein.  Be it left over hamburgers or chicken.  Then I take my 6 Prednisone and wash it down with a banana.  That all seems to be doing the trick!

Last night I felt great! For the first time in like 3 weeks.  I was actually able to get a bunch of work down around the house after I came home from a meeting.  In fact I wasn’t even sure if I was even going to make it to the meeting! I didn’t think I would be able to stay sitting for the couple of hours I needed to.  But in the end I felt pretty ok, and even was up for going to the grocery store.  Which was great because I was so behind on it.  It just isn’t the same having to send your husband out to get the things you know you need but he doesn’t know what brands and stuff, you know?

Maybe it was some of that euphoria that is a side effect of the steroids, who knows but I was able to do a load of laundry, clean the kitchen  load the dishwasher and mop up parts of the kitchen floor (well just with a rag and my foot) and then I still did my stretches and exercises for the day.  I may not have gone to bed until 1am, but it just felt so good to DO something for a change.

This afternoon I have a friend of mine coming over to help watch my daughter.  I think I’m going to take the time to head out to the gym where they have a hot tub and heated pool.  I would just do it here, but I’m locked out the pool area for the next couple of days.  Long story.  And I really felt like the water was helping.

My new normal

Ok so my back has been KILLING me over the last few weeks.  I’m pretty sure it all started when I went to some retreat with the women from my church.  It was a great experience and all but I realized then that my back is just not cut out for bad bunk beds, hikes, and sitting indian style.  From that weekend onwards there’s always been a bit of pain that I couldn’t seem to shift.  And then WHAM!  One day after seeing my chiropractor it all just gave out and I had to drive my car the 15 min it takes to get home in extreme pain and agony.  Like deep moaning during labor pain.

Well today while I was still in pain and basically can do nothing but lay in bed I realized that actually I’m doing SO MUCH MORE than just laying in bed.  I’m laying there having a complete pity party on myself when my husband stops me and says “What do you call all that downstairs cooking? Because I don’t call that nothing”  And then I realized in spite of all my pain I still managed to cook a beef heart stew, make chicken broth and render down the fat from the heart to get some tallow.  Not to mention I still took the time to soak oatmeal for tomorrow and make more homemade coconut milk kefir…WHAT?!

When did this happen that whipping up a stew with organ meat is so normal to me now that whilst doing it I felt like I was doing nothing!  I mean even just a year ago I swear putting in a Stouffer’s lasagna in the oven was hard work.  Wow I really need to get off my own back and realize the progress I’ve made over the last few years.  So what that the house is a mess?  So what if my daughter is maybe watching one too many Elmo’s since I can’t play with her.  I’m in a season in my life right now where I just have to survive.  And again if I’m surviving off home made organ meats, broth and tallow then I think life is going to be alright.

I lost the plot

You know you’ve lost the plot when you’re watching Biggest Loser while stuffing your face full of tacos and nachos from taco bell and drinking your daughter’s juice boxes. All while supposedly on some sort of sugar detox.

But that’s what I have this blog so I can keep track of all the times I fall completely off the wagon. I know I need to just get myself back up again but sometimes it can just be so hard. 😦

The journey of her birth

In honor of my daughter’s birthday coming up this Saturday I went back to re-read all the posts I had written up on a forum board I visited often during my pregnancy.  It was really moving to read them and I would love to collate them all in one place and share them with you.

 Feb 14th, 2011, 05:37 AM
Welp ladies this is it. I’m so sorry to jump the line Lucky but my waters went tonight around 4am. I thought I was peeing myself until I realized I had no control! hahaha. I smacked hubby to get up cause he wasn’t waking up when I said his name like 5 times,  So he got me a towel and I waddled the best I could to the bathroom. I thought I left most in bed, turns out half was on the towel and even more in the toilet! No real contractions as of yet. I’ve got hubby to blow up the pool but I don’t know about filling it up yet. It does take like 3 hours though.

Feb 14th, 2011, 09:04 AM
MW [midwife] here as around 7:30 I was having them around 3min apart. She’s checked me and everything looks fine. Still haven’t done an internal as things aren’t exactly regular so I’ve opted to wait a bit longer. They are coming in quite strong though. WOO!

Feb 15th, 2011, 18:13 PM
Hey ladies! Just sitting here part way naked with a hot water bottle being held on my back by MiL while trying to munch down a sandwich. Or in other words, still in labour! So far it’s not exactly what I though it would be like. I started having contractions about 3 min apart after an hour after my waters broke which didn’t let up so we called the midwife in. Long story short I was ready for the pool my body at only 1cm was not. And later on while they were still coming at 3 min sometimes 2 I was ready for pool my body was not at 2cm. Distress insued and a transfer to the hospital happened around 3pm. I cried the whole way. I felt like a failure.

Got to the hospital was told I could get into the bath to which I got a bit snippy and said I wanted to get in the pool in my own what the heck was the difference?! So laboured in the bath for 3 hours. I must say it was the best part of the whole day. While being at home the midwife was constantly on top of me, monitoring Babs and my heart rate. Taking my blood pressure. But it was JUST me and hubby in the room while I was in the bath from 3 hours and it was bliss. I sucked on my gas and air while the contractions still made their way and thought I was going to enjoy my birth again.

That was until everything STOPPED once I got out of the pool. Like seriously went from at least 5 6 min apart at the most to 2 an hour. So I slept over in the hospital since it was so late by this point. But when I got up in the morning wanted to go home, which worked out well as they were super full and wanted to get rid of me! hahaha. BTW For a hospital that wanted rid of me they sure did take their sweet time dischargin me, geez! Was told at 6am I was to go home didn’t leave till like 10.

So she did one final internal at my request (How weird it was to actually fight for my right to an internal. This whole time I thought it would be the opposite!) To which I was still only 2cm

So I’m back home ladies *sigh* Just over 37 hours since everything started and only getting contractions very sporadically. I’m due in tomorrow morning for antibiotics which I agreed to but said I won’t be getting induced if me and babs are fine, but they seemed ok with that. Unless of course I go tonight *fingers crossed*

The crazy thing is my sister flies in tomorrow at 2:30 after all this joking around she may actually make it to see the birth! hahaha.

 Feb 15th, 2011, 22:07 PM
You ladies are amazing!!! Me and my new best friend Gas and Air love you all to bits!

 Feb 20th, 2011, 15:49 PM
Hi ladies I’m here. So after 62 hours and the worst day of my life the thing living inside of me is now out. Not sure how I feel about it. Still processing a lot of emotions. Obviously didn’t get my home birth in the end. Wound up on the operating table for over 2 hours while put under. I have to take a break from here for a while. After reading a few things and even with how amazing you all are I only feel anger and jealousy. Thank you so much for every thing you’ve done I guess my body is just useless.

Sugar Detox round 2!


Yesterday was crazy.  I spent most of the day trying to perfect my daughters cupcakes for her birthday but forgot to eat anything during the process!  Since her birthday will fall right in the middle of the next 21 Day Sugar Detox I knew I had to get all the test baking in on Sunday.  But I think I had one too many taste tests because I turned into a complete disaster.

I had no patience with anything or anyone.  My daughters cries were going right through me and I said to my husband all I wanted to do was punch her. I mean really?!  But yes I did! That’s how insane I was.  I then stormed out of the house because I was fighting with my husband and honestly nervous over what I would throw at him.

Here’s the good part though, in the past when these kind of things would happen the first place I would go is through the taco bell drive through.  I’m not joking when I say I would get the 10 taco meal deal, but just for me.  It was like I would want to punish myself for being so crazy and make myself so full until I was sick.

sugar-addiction

Well I did go through the drive thru again, but I didn’t stop I just kept driving.  I was even adamantly trying to shut God out and NOT listen to him because I just wanted the sweet relief of a crunchy taco in my mouth.  God is so amazing though and knew the true desires of my heart and seriously I felt him push my foot down and steer the wheel the opposite direction.  It was an amazing feeling overcoming something that had been such a huge part of my life for the past year.

To try and break the habit I went over to Starbucks and got a peppermint tea.  I sipped on that and read my book while I tried to relax before going home.

Then that night I felt like I had the flu!  I could barely move I was in so much pain, I was just so achey. I took my temperature I thought I had for sure caught something. But nope I was fine, and it was then I realized I was having the opposite effect of carb flu.  I had in fact had TOO MUCH sugar and was getting sick because of it!  Crazy to think I of all people could have too much sugar.  Even it was all in the form of dark chocolate, maple syrup and honey.

I woke up this morning with a crazy headache and just resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to get over this sugar hangover for the rest of the day.  Thankfully I started to feel better later on.  And the one good thing about all this was when I went out to dinner tonight with some of my girl friends I didn’t even think twice about dipping into their fondue deserts.  There was no way I wanted to feel that way again.

Day 15 – Down 2lbs for week 2!

Oh wow yesterday was just horrible, I had no energy, I didn’t want to do anything.  And you know what I didn’t, and I felt like crap because of it. My back was horribly sore and I craved something sweet allllll day long.  It’s interesting how that works out.  The awesome thing is I relied on God and didn’t give into the temptations of pigging out on whatever I had in the house that was sweet.  So yes I’m making progress even if I did watch 3 hours of TV and play 2 hours of Wii. And not the good kind of wii, the sit on your butt and use a remote control kind.

Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App

Lunch today was left over Shepard’s Pie, Kombucha and some supplements. 


The Good: I did my workout today while watching TV!  Funnily enough it was while watch Biggest Loser.  Which usually I like to eat cookies and watch.  Odd I know.

The Great: And certainly the better news is that when I weighed myself this morning I was 227!! That’s down 2 lbs from last week.  What I love about this detox is that it’s not about losing weight, and the old me would have actually be frustrated, YES frustrated at losing only 2lbs even thought I’ve done so much work. But now I’m like 2lbs?! Rock on!  I didn’t even expect to lose anything this week.

The Ugly: My sleep was so messed up after a day of blahness yesterday that after I dropped my daughter off at her friends house this morning instead of getting stuff done around the house I just went back to bed.

Day 12 – A half way point treat day

I had 5 treats today

  1. I got to sleep in!  Since I had to go to the Chiropractors this afternoon but had to leave before my daughter went down for a nap, my husband got up with her and took her to the park.  So I even got to get ready in an empty house!  That’s like treat 1.5
  2. Shopping alone.  After getting cracked back into place, I headed over to Whole Foods to get some shopping done. When I have to go with the wee one she is constantly trying to grab the things I’ve put into the cart.  And constantly saying “please, please, please” to all the fruit she sees.  So yes, shopping alone is a treat.  I also love Whole Foods because they have Kombucha on tap. MmmmmUploaded from the Photobucket Android App
  3. Chipotle!!  I took my Kombucha and headed over to Chipotle. I could seriously eat there every day of my life if I could afford it. I usually get a salad, no dressing, rice, chicken, mild salsa, cheese, sour cream, guac and top it all with some more lettuce. I wouldn’t normally eat dairy, but I always make the exception for Chipotle and have never gotten sick.  I always say it’s nothing other than a blessing by God, Chipotle without sour cream would be criminal.
  4. Movie time! Since I had gotten everything done so early and I still had loads of time I went to go see a movie!  I had originally wanted to see Les Mis, but the time tables didn’t work out in my favor so instead I went to go see Silver Linings.  It was just alright.  I mean it was interesting and definitely entertaining, but I would have rather spent $1 at Redbox renting it that $9.50 to see in in the theater.
  5. Playdate. For some people this may not have been a treat but for me it is.  I got to watch my friends little girl tonight.  She is the same age as my daughter so they always have so much fun together.  It’s a treat for me because it means I don’t actually have to do that much work.  You would think having 2 instead of 1 means MORE work, but when they just entertain themselves it means I have time to get stuff done without a toddler hanging off my leg begging for my attention.  I also just love watching her interact with her friends. It’s just so cute watching her grow up like that. As a result of the playdate I just had a quick dinner while hubby gave the girls a bath.  Some homemade chicken soup with a chicken mayonnaise salad.  (My homemade mayo rocks!)

Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App