Ok so my back has been KILLING me over the last few weeks. I’m pretty sure it all started when I went to some retreat with the women from my church. It was a great experience and all but I realized then that my back is just not cut out for bad bunk beds, hikes, and sitting indian style. From that weekend onwards there’s always been a bit of pain that I couldn’t seem to shift. And then WHAM! One day after seeing my chiropractor it all just gave out and I had to drive my car the 15 min it takes to get home in extreme pain and agony. Like deep moaning during labor pain.
Well today while I was still in pain and basically can do nothing but lay in bed I realized that actually I’m doing SO MUCH MORE than just laying in bed. I’m laying there having a complete pity party on myself when my husband stops me and says “What do you call all that downstairs cooking? Because I don’t call that nothing” And then I realized in spite of all my pain I still managed to cook a beef heart stew, make chicken broth and render down the fat from the heart to get some tallow. Not to mention I still took the time to soak oatmeal for tomorrow and make more homemade coconut milk kefir…WHAT?!
When did this happen that whipping up a stew with organ meat is so normal to me now that whilst doing it I felt like I was doing nothing! I mean even just a year ago I swear putting in a Stouffer’s lasagna in the oven was hard work. Wow I really need to get off my own back and realize the progress I’ve made over the last few years. So what that the house is a mess? So what if my daughter is maybe watching one too many Elmo’s since I can’t play with her. I’m in a season in my life right now where I just have to survive. And again if I’m surviving off home made organ meats, broth and tallow then I think life is going to be alright.
I got to sleep in! Since I had to go to the Chiropractors this afternoon but had to leave before my daughter went down for a nap, my husband got up with her and took her to the park. So I even got to get ready in an empty house! That’s like treat 1.5
Shopping alone. After getting cracked back into place, I headed over to Whole Foods to get some shopping done. When I have to go with the wee one she is constantly trying to grab the things I’ve put into the cart. And constantly saying “please, please, please” to all the fruit she sees. So yes, shopping alone is a treat. I also love Whole Foods because they have Kombucha on tap. Mmmmm
Chipotle!! I took my Kombucha and headed over to Chipotle. I could seriously eat there every day of my life if I could afford it. I usually get a salad, no dressing, rice, chicken, mild salsa, cheese, sour cream, guac and top it all with some more lettuce. I wouldn’t normally eat dairy, but I always make the exception for Chipotle and have never gotten sick. I always say it’s nothing other than a blessing by God, Chipotle without sour cream would be criminal.
Movie time! Since I had gotten everything done so early and I still had loads of time I went to go see a movie! I had originally wanted to see Les Mis, but the time tables didn’t work out in my favor so instead I went to go see Silver Linings. It was just alright. I mean it was interesting and definitely entertaining, but I would have rather spent $1 at Redbox renting it that $9.50 to see in in the theater.
Playdate. For some people this may not have been a treat but for me it is. I got to watch my friends little girl tonight. She is the same age as my daughter so they always have so much fun together. It’s a treat for me because it means I don’t actually have to do that much work. You would think having 2 instead of 1 means MORE work, but when they just entertain themselves it means I have time to get stuff done without a toddler hanging off my leg begging for my attention. I also just love watching her interact with her friends. It’s just so cute watching her grow up like that. As a result of the playdate I just had a quick dinner while hubby gave the girls a bath. Some homemade chicken soup with a chicken mayonnaise salad. (My homemade mayo rocks!)
I don’t know what is wrong with me but I am spiraling out of control.
Burgers and fries on Thursday, egg rolls and teriyaki wings on Friday, candy canes, sugar cover almonds, slices of cheese, sugar laden lemonades, nuts covered in rancid oils. Ugh. It’s like I’ve lost the plot. And I can tell it’s effected me so much more than just my IBS. I am moody, and anxious. I want to cry at any given moment, I’m back to fighting with my husband constantly. I’m yelling at my daughter. I just have no patience. And yet I continue to eat.
I know what I need to do, I need to turn to Christ. I need his grace and his love to get me back on track. I need to remember everything IS permissible. It just may not be beneficial. My chiropractor, God bless him, I think has been partly the cause of some of this. His words to me of stopping all sugars, even fruit. Of just being better and not eating out AT ALL has caused me to resort to my old ways of rebellion.
Before that I had gotten into a good rhythm with God. I knew I could have taco bell and chocolate cake whenever I wanted. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was I wanted it more than I wanted my relationship with God and so I knew who I needed to turn to. My chiro has be thinking I need to turn inward and into myself again and just have the willpower to stop. Well I will tell you this, there is no such things as will power. Only God’s power and I need to be in search of that again.
Today I went to my Chiropractor to finally do something about this non stoppable IBS I’m dealing with. He really is such an amazing doctor. He’s so much more than a chiropractor, he adjusted me for my stomach pain and then gave me some great supplements to take in order to heal faster. He also gave me ideas on what to eat and what not to eat.
I had been wondering for a long time, is it ok to just fast when I’m having IBS flare up? I looked everywhere online and really couldn’t find an answer at all. So I asked my Doc and he explained that fasting is a great way to allow the body to heal itself. You most likely don’t feel hungry for a reason, and you should be listening to that.
He did say that electrolyte water and bone broth are two very important things to try and sip when you can. So if all I eat for the next few days is water, tea and broth I’ll be ok. And that was good to hear. It’s only after the sharp pains have gone away or started to at least that I can think about things like really mushy veg or some rice. Maybe even half of a banana.
I’m already feeling crazy better than just this morning, so I pray God continues to give me the wisdom to know how to heal myself.
So it turns out my daughter DOESN’T have hand foot and mouth disease! Or well she could have but all the supplements I started shoving down her and the awesome diet that we eat meant she didn’t get it hard core. All I know is I’m so relieved and grateful to God because we were having the hardest time deciding what to do. I mean how were we going to take a poor little sick almost 2 year old on a 6 hour plane ride into a house full of people she could potentially infect! Well let’s just say it wasn’t going to happen.
When I went to go see the Chiropractor on Monday about my back I had to take my daughter in with me because no one could watch her with her fever. But I’m so grateful I did because my Chiro gave me a few things to give to her to break the fever naturally. And then gave me a cough syrup I had tried to make earlier but didn’t turn out so well. I’m very obliged to just buying it, lol. He also then gave me some immune boosting pills to take while I’m away so as to keep the sickness at bay.
I’ll be continuing my prayers that her fever stays away but looks like we’re on our way to Wisconsin! WOO!