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Sugar Detox round 2!


Yesterday was crazy.  I spent most of the day trying to perfect my daughters cupcakes for her birthday but forgot to eat anything during the process!  Since her birthday will fall right in the middle of the next 21 Day Sugar Detox I knew I had to get all the test baking in on Sunday.  But I think I had one too many taste tests because I turned into a complete disaster.

I had no patience with anything or anyone.  My daughters cries were going right through me and I said to my husband all I wanted to do was punch her. I mean really?!  But yes I did! That’s how insane I was.  I then stormed out of the house because I was fighting with my husband and honestly nervous over what I would throw at him.

Here’s the good part though, in the past when these kind of things would happen the first place I would go is through the taco bell drive through.  I’m not joking when I say I would get the 10 taco meal deal, but just for me.  It was like I would want to punish myself for being so crazy and make myself so full until I was sick.

sugar-addiction

Well I did go through the drive thru again, but I didn’t stop I just kept driving.  I was even adamantly trying to shut God out and NOT listen to him because I just wanted the sweet relief of a crunchy taco in my mouth.  God is so amazing though and knew the true desires of my heart and seriously I felt him push my foot down and steer the wheel the opposite direction.  It was an amazing feeling overcoming something that had been such a huge part of my life for the past year.

To try and break the habit I went over to Starbucks and got a peppermint tea.  I sipped on that and read my book while I tried to relax before going home.

Then that night I felt like I had the flu!  I could barely move I was in so much pain, I was just so achey. I took my temperature I thought I had for sure caught something. But nope I was fine, and it was then I realized I was having the opposite effect of carb flu.  I had in fact had TOO MUCH sugar and was getting sick because of it!  Crazy to think I of all people could have too much sugar.  Even it was all in the form of dark chocolate, maple syrup and honey.

I woke up this morning with a crazy headache and just resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to get over this sugar hangover for the rest of the day.  Thankfully I started to feel better later on.  And the one good thing about all this was when I went out to dinner tonight with some of my girl friends I didn’t even think twice about dipping into their fondue deserts.  There was no way I wanted to feel that way again.

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Gobbling up gobbstoppers

I lost the plot today.  I let myself get too hungry when I was out with my daughter so instead of being able to calmly order a yummy Mediterranean salad I also had to go and get a side of yummy fries.  Ugh potatoes are my downfall!  I then came home and had the biggest sweet tooth.  First I ate one of my daughters dried fruit snacks and then I remembered something.  There is a box of gobstoppers in the car glove box!

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Yes, there really was a box.  I had bought a box months ago when I was in a sad place and wanted something sweet at a movie theater, then I hid them in the car when I got home so hubby wouldn’t find out. Yea, not so good.  And for some reason I forgot about them all this time until just now!  I should have relied on God, I should have thrown them in the dumpster by our place, or poured soap all over them.  Instead I shut out what I should have done and went outside to read my book and snack on gobstoppers.

I had such a nice an relaxing time.  It really bugs me now when I look back on it.  Like why do I need to be eating something sweet in order to be having a good time? Sometimes I get so frustrated when things like this happen because I’ve been feeling so good about everything and have been doing so well. This definitely shows me I need another 21 days of no sugar though. *sigh*

 
So as a way to help direct my sugar cravings towards a better path I spent some time making pumpkin doughnuts tonight.  Probably wasn’t the best to eat two of them right after though.  The crazy thing is even though my stomach is hurting (which by the way is scaring me) I feel like I could eat two more.  What is up with that?!

Birthday party problems

So I went to a birthday party this morning for one of my daughter’s friends.  It was at an indoor climbing play space and it was actually kid of fun.  The problem came when it was time for lunch and my friend (the host) just bought a bunch of pizza, fries, chicken fingers and corn dogs for everyone to go along with their cupcakes.  Naturally.

I would have to say all in all it went ok.  I managed to think ahead and pack some leftover from dinner for myself, and some oatmeal and an apple for my daughter.  (We soak our oatmeal, incase anyone is screaming “But the phytic acid!”) Turns out we were both pretty satisfied with our choices.  A few of my friends made joke that my little girl desperately wanted a piece of pizza as she kept reaching for what they had.  I simply said anything you have in your hand she wants.  Even if it was brussel sprouts because that’s what she’s like, she just wants what every anyone else has.
I did go ahead and give her some of the fries though.  Of all the things that were there, they were the one thing she could reasonably have and it was nice to not be the freaks eating out of tupperware and have some of what my friends were offering. So yes truth time, I had some fries as well.  I managed to stay completely away from the cupcakes though.  I mean I knew I couldn’t have the gluten in them but even part of me was starting to justify just having the icing!!!  Oi Vey!  Thankfully God put my thoughts right.  As a result I maybe ate one too many fries.

Would I have liked to not have eaten any?  Yes of course!  And I feel like one day I will get there.  But I have to remember progress is progress, and less than a year ago, even while living “paleo”, I did indulge in a cupcake (ok two actually, and a few cookies).  So wow I have come a long way.

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And because of all of that tonight I am making pumpkin muffins and sneaking a few chocolate chips in.  When does the next 21 DSD start? hahaha

Day 20 – Brokenness with boundaries.

So as a part of my 21 DSD I have also been apart of the Made to Crave 21 day challenge. Perfect right?! I have been getting daily e-mails that revolve around our desires with food and how those should be focused on God instead. I have read the book already and it has basically changed my life.  but receiving these e-mails while going through this detox has been perfect, even though all the stories are basically from the book.

For example, even though I read today’s story already in the book it spoke volumes more to me today. She talks about her dog and how he needed to be fenced in to keep himself away from the car tires he enjoys chasing and had just been recently run over by one. I love how she put it “My brokenness couldn’t handle freedom with food outside the boundaries of my plan. Not yet.”

broken_boundaries

Wow! Just wow!  I have been struggling with whether or not to actually come off of this “detox”. Thinking that it would be a good idea to introduce some more fruits in.  But another part of me is actually afraid.  I’m afraid of what will happen when I start getting that sweet tooth again.  Will I start to crave the cookies and the chocolate that got me into this mess in the first place?  Because if I’m honest other than a few cravings here or there this has been the easiest removal of sugar I have ever done.  In fact it’s been the only removal of sugar that’s ever been successful.  I’ve done 4 other whole 30’s and never made it past the second week.  But this?  This was easy.

Was it because of the way Diane laid everything out?  I think so yes.  The introduction of a green apple or green banana has been a saving grace, as has kombucha.  All of those things have allowed me to have something just slightly sweet when al

l the savory stuff was getting too much. But the key was not having TOO much fruit and thus those craving would continue like they had during whole 30’s.  So I’m back to my question.  Should I continue?

I think I answered my own question.  Yes I think I will. Because my brokenness, my addiction, my eating disorders can’t handle the freedom outside of the boundaries of the 21 DSD.  Not yet,  I need to recognize that these boundaries are a gift from God to keep me safe.

Day 15 – Down 2lbs for week 2!

Oh wow yesterday was just horrible, I had no energy, I didn’t want to do anything.  And you know what I didn’t, and I felt like crap because of it. My back was horribly sore and I craved something sweet allllll day long.  It’s interesting how that works out.  The awesome thing is I relied on God and didn’t give into the temptations of pigging out on whatever I had in the house that was sweet.  So yes I’m making progress even if I did watch 3 hours of TV and play 2 hours of Wii. And not the good kind of wii, the sit on your butt and use a remote control kind.

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Lunch today was left over Shepard’s Pie, Kombucha and some supplements. 


The Good: I did my workout today while watching TV!  Funnily enough it was while watch Biggest Loser.  Which usually I like to eat cookies and watch.  Odd I know.

The Great: And certainly the better news is that when I weighed myself this morning I was 227!! That’s down 2 lbs from last week.  What I love about this detox is that it’s not about losing weight, and the old me would have actually be frustrated, YES frustrated at losing only 2lbs even thought I’ve done so much work. But now I’m like 2lbs?! Rock on!  I didn’t even expect to lose anything this week.

The Ugly: My sleep was so messed up after a day of blahness yesterday that after I dropped my daughter off at her friends house this morning instead of getting stuff done around the house I just went back to bed.

Day 9 – Salmon and water kefir

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So I’m definitely certain that both my daughter and I are not used to getting up before 9 since just before Christmas.  I know this because the poor girl was conked out the minute we got in the car after BSF.

BSF stands for Bible Study Fellowship and it’s something I’ve been going to for a few months now.  It has it’s negatives don’t get me wrong, but I’m learning so much about the bible that I wouldn’t really be able to other wise and the child care is so amazing that it’s what keeps me going back. When I think about things like if I should put my daughter into a preschool or not (seems like ALL her friends have started going) I remember how great BSF is for and how  basically it’s an awesome Christian based preschool, for free!

So yea we need to be there no later than 9:30 so I wasn’t sure how we would do.  I was shocked when I heard her talking in her crib at 8:30 maybe she would have gone back down for a smaller nap if I had left her (I could barely hear her) but decided to just get her up and get a move on it.  And we were actually on time for a change!

Not only did the poor thing crash in the car on the way home but I felt I needed to do the same thing. So I went ahead and laid down thinking she’ll be up in a few hours and I’ll just let her wake me up.  When I finally did wake up (on my own even, she was still asleep) it was 3:20.  Holy guacamole!  We both definitely needed a nap.

The Good: I made salmon tonight for dinner.  But like, I don’t cook fish.  It’s like I’m perpetually horrible at always cooking fish so when it came out delicious I was super excited.  AND I tried my first batch of water kefir tonight!  It’s taken me about a week with my milk kefir grains to convert them but I’ve seem to have done it successfully.  I don’t know though, it wasn’t as fizzy as I’d hoped and really it tasted the same as kombucha so what’s the point of doing both?  We’ll see

With the salmon and water kefir, I had brocoli and a salad with olive oil and lemon juice drizzled on top.  And you know what, I was stuffed.  Like super, almost couldn’t finish, stuffed.  Which I was honestly shocked about because there was no starch to the meal.

The Bad: Though we had a great morning, it seems the nap really through me off and I had no energy the rest of the day, no energy means my little girl gets to watch one too many Elmo’s.  I should have just gotten up and taken her to the park, but we were both just like slugs hanging around the house.

The not so Bad: I didn’t do any exercises today.  I think it’s not all that bad though because I did a lot yesterday so I’m going to call this my rest day.  Now if I do this again this week that would be ugly because I’m only meant to have 1 rest day.

Day 5 & 6

Uploaded from the Photobucket Android AppOn Day 5 (Saturday) it was my hubby’s birthday!  I managed to actually think up a few presents to get him this year, usually it’s hard enough to think of things to get him for Christmas let alone turn around a week later and get something more!  I had also decided to take him out on a proper date so I got us a groupon deal (cheeap! woo!) to some greek restaurant and then got us tickets to go see the Hobbit!

The restaurant was fantastic!  We started off some some grape leaves stuffed with lamb meat, moved on to a deliciously simple greek salad, we also managed to splurge on some crazy awesome humus (we scooped it up with cucumbers, yum!) You can imagine by the time our main course came we were nearly done.  So we ate a little and packed up the rest to have as a midnight snack when we got home.  Hubby got some sort of eggplant meal, and I got this wonderful pepper stuffed with sirloin and lamb meat, vegetables and some rice.  Yes the rice was a bit more than I would normally eat, but it was also a special occasion so I wasn’t bothered.

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On day 6 (Sunday) I had so much grocery shopping to get done but woke up with seriously no energy at all.  I suppose staying up until 1am and eating a bit more than normal will still take a toll on you.  But of course I thought to myself

well I’m going to feel this anyways I should have just had cake and alcohol. *sigh*  I know it does no good to think that way so I had to remind myself why I’m doing this.  Not just to feel better, or to lose weight, but to realize I need to rely on God an not on food.

I got some lunch while at Whole Foods.  Their food bar is seriously one of my favorite places to eat because they have the ingredients list on EVERYTHING!  Which means no second guessing, and no looking the other way and pretending I don’t taste all that sugar in whatever I’m eating.

They didn’t have too much I wanted or could have that day so I just went with a salad filled to the max.  Lettuce, eggs, radish, carrots, turkey, green onions, feta cheese and then topped it all off with a balsamic vinegar/olive oil mix.  That together with my kombucha on tap (seriously why can’t everywhere in the world have kombucha on tap) made for a great lunch.

For dinner that night I just roasted a chicken with some veg and had that to round off the weekend.  I intend to use the chicken and broth to make some soup and a chicken salad for the week to come.