Day 20 – Brokenness with boundaries.

So as a part of my 21 DSD I have also been apart of the Made to Crave 21 day challenge. Perfect right?! I have been getting daily e-mails that revolve around our desires with food and how those should be focused on God instead. I have read the book already and it has basically changed my life.  but receiving these e-mails while going through this detox has been perfect, even though all the stories are basically from the book.

For example, even though I read today’s story already in the book it spoke volumes more to me today. She talks about her dog and how he needed to be fenced in to keep himself away from the car tires he enjoys chasing and had just been recently run over by one. I love how she put it “My brokenness couldn’t handle freedom with food outside the boundaries of my plan. Not yet.”

broken_boundaries

Wow! Just wow!  I have been struggling with whether or not to actually come off of this “detox”. Thinking that it would be a good idea to introduce some more fruits in.  But another part of me is actually afraid.  I’m afraid of what will happen when I start getting that sweet tooth again.  Will I start to crave the cookies and the chocolate that got me into this mess in the first place?  Because if I’m honest other than a few cravings here or there this has been the easiest removal of sugar I have ever done.  In fact it’s been the only removal of sugar that’s ever been successful.  I’ve done 4 other whole 30’s and never made it past the second week.  But this?  This was easy.

Was it because of the way Diane laid everything out?  I think so yes.  The introduction of a green apple or green banana has been a saving grace, as has kombucha.  All of those things have allowed me to have something just slightly sweet when al

l the savory stuff was getting too much. But the key was not having TOO much fruit and thus those craving would continue like they had during whole 30’s.  So I’m back to my question.  Should I continue?

I think I answered my own question.  Yes I think I will. Because my brokenness, my addiction, my eating disorders can’t handle the freedom outside of the boundaries of the 21 DSD.  Not yet,  I need to recognize that these boundaries are a gift from God to keep me safe.

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