With my back hurting as much as it does I finally got my MRI and then an appointment to see a neurosurgeon. According my MRI my L5 nerve is pinched to the left side. But interestingly it’s my right leg that hurst the most and is the one that feels numb and tingly. When the neurosurgeon examined me it was also my right leg that showed weakness So this was challenging for him to decide what to do. In the end I didn’t mind that he said I didn’t need surgery. Heck! I didn’t want it in the first place! But then I was told I would have to wait another 2 weeks to see the Pain management and rehab doctor to even DISCUSS gover etting an epidural steroid shot.
That was when the whole thing was overwhelming for me. I mean I’ve already dealt with this pain for so long. I’ve put my life on hold for this pain for over 2 weeks now. There was NO WAY I could do it for another 2 weeks! I would go insane! Thankfully I now have an amazing doctor (she has done more for me in 2 weeks than my doctor on Kaiser ever did in 18 months!) and she took the time to speak with me on the phone after the appointment and try to work out how I am going to cope over the next two weeks.
The result? Oral steroids. I tried as hard as I could to stay away from those crazy things for as long as I’ve had this back pain but it seems as though they’ve finally caught up with me. I don’t seem to have any other choice though. Currently I’m taking Tumeric, reveratrol, 10mg hydro, 1000 acet, and 10gm flexeril. (Man looking at it that way, that’s a lot!) in addition to eating a pretty strict auto immune paleo diet to keep my inflammation down, along with my morning cup of bone broth, my fclo 2x a day. I’m still averaging out around a 5-6 in pain when I’m trying to lead a normal life. Yes I can get my pain down to a 1 even a 0 when I’m laying down. But honestly I can’t live like this much longer.
So starting tomorrow I’m going to be taking Prednisone for 14 days. It’s quite a crazy and complicated schedule. I have to take 6 pills for 5 days each and then gradually take less. I’m not looking forward to the side effects. They can include weight gain from an increased appetite, insomnia, acne, swelling (which I find funny since it’s an anti inflammatory) and stomach problems which is an issue with me and my IBD.
My doctor also gave me some sort of antacid to take with my Pred but I’d rather not take it so have decided instead to go the ACV route and do a tbsp before each meal and see how I feel. It shouldn’t hurt, and maybe will keep my appetite in check as well. I intend to make sure I’m getting plenty of protein and calcium. Since I don’t do dairy my calcium will come from my chicken broth (brewed with egg shells for more calcium!), and my veggies. I know a lot of the weight gain will come from water retention so I’m going to drink extra water and stay away from take aways (even if they are paleo approved Thai cuisine).
I’m going to try an document how I feel through out the course of the steroids. I think it will be good for me to look back on and see how they made me feel. Both for my own personal records and to discuss further treatment with my doctors. I’m kind of hoping though that it’s just enough to get my disc back in place so I can move on with my life. Let’s just say I will not be playing volleyball or going on any retreats any time soon!
Yesterday was crazy. I spent most of the day trying to perfect my daughters cupcakes for her birthday but forgot to eat anything during the process! Since her birthday will fall right in the middle of the next 21 Day Sugar Detox I knew I had to get all the test baking in on Sunday. But I think I had one too many taste tests because I turned into a complete disaster.
I had no patience with anything or anyone. My daughters cries were going right through me and I said to my husband all I wanted to do was punch her. I mean really?! But yes I did! That’s how insane I was. I then stormed out of the house because I was fighting with my husband and honestly nervous over what I would throw at him.
Here’s the good part though, in the past when these kind of things would happen the first place I would go is through the taco bell drive through. I’m not joking when I say I would get the 10 taco meal deal, but just for me. It was like I would want to punish myself for being so crazy and make myself so full until I was sick.
Well I did go through the drive thru again, but I didn’t stop I just kept driving. I was even adamantly trying to shut God out and NOT listen to him because I just wanted the sweet relief of a crunchy taco in my mouth. God is so amazing though and knew the true desires of my heart and seriously I felt him push my foot down and steer the wheel the opposite direction. It was an amazing feeling overcoming something that had been such a huge part of my life for the past year.
To try and break the habit I went over to Starbucks and got a peppermint tea. I sipped on that and read my book while I tried to relax before going home.
Then that night I felt like I had the flu! I could barely move I was in so much pain, I was just so achey. I took my temperature I thought I had for sure caught something. But nope I was fine, and it was then I realized I was having the opposite effect of carb flu. I had in fact had TOO MUCH sugar and was getting sick because of it! Crazy to think I of all people could have too much sugar. Even it was all in the form of dark chocolate, maple syrup and honey.
I woke up this morning with a crazy headache and just resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to get over this sugar hangover for the rest of the day. Thankfully I started to feel better later on. And the one good thing about all this was when I went out to dinner tonight with some of my girl friends I didn’t even think twice about dipping into their fondue deserts. There was no way I wanted to feel that way again.
I lost the plot today. I let myself get too hungry when I was out with my daughter so instead of being able to calmly order a yummy Mediterranean salad I also had to go and get a side of yummy fries. Ugh potatoes are my downfall! I then came home and had the biggest sweet tooth. First I ate one of my daughters dried fruit snacks and then I remembered something. There is a box of gobstoppers in the car glove box!
Yes, there really was a box. I had bought a box months ago when I was in a sad place and wanted something sweet at a movie theater, then I hid them in the car when I got home so hubby wouldn’t find out. Yea, not so good. And for some reason I forgot about them all this time until just now! I should have relied on God, I should have thrown them in the dumpster by our place, or poured soap all over them. Instead I shut out what I should have done and went outside to read my book and snack on gobstoppers.
I had such a nice an relaxing time. It really bugs me now when I look back on it. Like why do I need to be eating something sweet in order to be having a good time? Sometimes I get so frustrated when things like this happen because I’ve been feeling so good about everything and have been doing so well. This definitely shows me I need another 21 days of no sugar though. *sigh*
So as a way to help direct my sugar cravings towards a better path I spent some time making pumpkin doughnuts tonight. Probably wasn’t the best to eat two of them right after though. The crazy thing is even though my stomach is hurting (which by the way is scaring me) I feel like I could eat two more. What is up with that?!
So as a part of my 21 DSD I have also been apart of the Made to Crave 21 day challenge. Perfect right?! I have been getting daily e-mails that revolve around our desires with food and how those should be focused on God instead. I have read the book already and it has basically changed my life. but receiving these e-mails while going through this detox has been perfect, even though all the stories are basically from the book.
For example, even though I read today’s story already in the book it spoke volumes more to me today. She talks about her dog and how he needed to be fenced in to keep himself away from the car tires he enjoys chasing and had just been recently run over by one. I love how she put it “My brokenness couldn’t handle freedom with food outside the boundaries of my plan. Not yet.”
Wow! Just wow! I have been struggling with whether or not to actually come off of this “detox”. Thinking that it would be a good idea to introduce some more fruits in. But another part of me is actually afraid. I’m afraid of what will happen when I start getting that sweet tooth again. Will I start to crave the cookies and the chocolate that got me into this mess in the first place? Because if I’m honest other than a few cravings here or there this has been the easiest removal of sugar I have ever done. In fact it’s been the only removal of sugar that’s ever been successful. I’ve done 4 other whole 30’s and never made it past the second week. But this? This was easy.
Was it because of the way Diane laid everything out? I think so yes. The introduction of a green apple or green banana has been a saving grace, as has kombucha. All of those things have allowed me to have something just slightly sweet when al
l the savory stuff was getting too much. But the key was not having TOO much fruit and thus those craving would continue like they had during whole 30’s. So I’m back to my question. Should I continue?
I think I answered my own question. Yes I think I will. Because my brokenness, my addiction, my eating disorders can’t handle the freedom outside of the boundaries of the 21 DSD. Not yet, I need to recognize that these boundaries are a gift from God to keep me safe.
Oh wow yesterday was just horrible, I had no energy, I didn’t want to do anything. And you know what I didn’t, and I felt like crap because of it. My back was horribly sore and I craved something sweet allllll day long. It’s interesting how that works out. The awesome thing is I relied on God and didn’t give into the temptations of pigging out on whatever I had in the house that was sweet. So yes I’m making progress even if I did watch 3 hours of TV and play 2 hours of Wii. And not the good kind of wii, the sit on your butt and use a remote control kind.
Lunch today was left over Shepard’s Pie, Kombucha and some supplements.
The Good: I did my workout today while watching TV! Funnily enough it was while watch Biggest Loser. Which usually I like to eat cookies and watch. Odd I know.
The Great: And certainly the better news is that when I weighed myself this morning I was 227!! That’s down 2 lbs from last week. What I love about this detox is that it’s not about losing weight, and the old me would have actually be frustrated, YES frustrated at losing only 2lbs even thought I’ve done so much work. But now I’m like 2lbs?! Rock on! I didn’t even expect to lose anything this week.
The Ugly: My sleep was so messed up after a day of blahness yesterday that after I dropped my daughter off at her friends house this morning instead of getting stuff done around the house I just went back to bed.
The Good: Late tonight I really wanted something sweet, even tempted to have one of my daughters more ripe bananas. But I just made some tea and kept out of the fridge for the rest of night. woot!
The Great: This afternoon I took my daughter to the park all decked out in my workout clothes. Usually we go to a small enough park that no ones there and I have done a few of my detox exercises there. Well this afternoon it was pretty full but I just humbled myself and did them anyways. And the crazy thing is the amount of energy I had. I’m usually the mom that sits on the bench listening to her podcast (usually Balanced Bites or The Paleo View!) hoping my daughter is ok, not because I’m worried about her, but because I don’t want to get up. But this afternoon inbetween my wall pushups and my step ups I was running around with her, even picking her up and holding her during one of my step up rounds. I feel like I may be coming out on the other end of this detox finally.
The Awesome: I know this detox isn’t about weight loss for everyone, but for me it is. Getting rid of sugar is slowly fixing my insulin resistance and one way I know that’s work is by losing weight. Well all that said this morning I weighed in at 229lbs!!!! That’s 6lbs gone! but wow I haven’t been in the 220’s since I was first pregnant with my daughter who turns 2 next month. Only 5 more lbs until I’m at my pre-pregnancy weight and officially 50lbs down. I’m trying hard not to get my hopes up for that to happen next week, so my goal is I just want to be at least that by the end of this detox.