I am finally feeling so much better! I’m a bit torn though, and I’m not sure it’s healthy. See a part of me was enamored with the amount of weight I lost while I was sick. I am now down to 231. That’s practically 9lbs in 6 days! I could do with some more of that and I got there by not eating anything but broth and rice.
Ok so I know I can’t keep up eating just broth and rice, but I was thinking I would still try not to eat much else and try to keep this weight off. But this morning I skipped part of my bible study (a whole other issue) and went to get some breakfast. Now this is where on the one hand I should be happy, and on the other I’m upset that I even ate out in the first place.
Here’s an inside look how my brain works…I walked into this amazing bakery/grill place because it seemed super quaint. All I wanted was one of their crepes, or perhaps just muffin, maybe a simple pancake? Ok so I know I can’t eat the gluten stuff, that would just be stupid. But perhaps I could have some eggs with the onion hashbrowns they have. Hashbrowns, now those aren’t too bad. I’ve had potatotes in the past. People debate them all the time. But I also know they’re most likely cooked with some sort of vegetable oil, not to mention they’re a potato! And me and potatoes don’t really mix. *sigh* So if I’m going to eat something I shouldn’t have and could potentially get me sick, then I should just get that muffin right? I’ll get the English muffin with the eggs and bacon and it’ll be remotely healthy. No No No, just get some eggs, bacon and splurge on the fruit…. Only problem was they didn’t even have a meal put together this way!
In the end I sucked it up, went up to the counter and just asked them questions. Can I get this with this? Is it ok to substitute? Also I finally asked them how they cooked their eggs. The nice part was the kitchen and the cook were right there so I just talked it out with her. I asked her what she used to cook the eggs with, she said butter and oil. I said I was allergic to both. She said they needed some sort of grease to cook the egg with though. So I said well I’m having bacon could you just cook it in that? She looked at me like I was a genius. hahaha “Yes! Yes! Of course we can do that! That will be very good!”
So I got two eggs over easy, bacon and fruit. What was fantastic was when the plate came, the “fruit” was merely a couple pieces of pineapple and orange. In the end I felt God kept his hand over the whole situation. He protected my thoughts, my cravings and my surroundings. I didn’t deserve that from him, I deserved making the wrong choice and getting sick again. But I also didn’t invent grace, he did. And I am grateful everyday for it.